For those of you who don't know, LaTeX is a text-setting (bit like word processing) package popular amongst academics and computer scientists. Latex is a rubber fabric, popular amongst fetisists. I encountered LaTeX in the former context.

Now, due to this dual meaning, there are a variety of usenet newsgroups concerned with the subject. I wondered if anyone ever got the wrong one, or cross-posted across the two meanings. What confusion could ensue....

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From: william_g_gruff@my-dejanews.com (william_g_gruff@my-dejanews.com)
 Subject: Latex is too inflexible! 
 Newsgroups: comp.text.tex, alt.sex.fetish.fashion, alt.shenanigans
 Date: 1998/08/14 



Latex is just too inflexible. I just don't seem to be able to get into it.
Does anyone have any tips about how to make it more flexible?

Plus, I can never get it to look the way I want - I want my stuff to
look really polished, but it always ends up looking dull - and don't
blame the contents!

I'm new here, so any help is welcome.

Billy.


William G Gruff III (william_g_gruff@dejanews.com)
        Practice random acts of kindness
            Senseless acts of beauty
              Bizarre acts of fun

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I'll just give a couple of the responses to give a flavour of the result. I must admit that people on both groups were wonderfully helpful - I did feel a bit guilty about trolling!

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From: Uwe Schwinghammer (uschwing@netway.at)
 Subject: Re: Latex is too inflexible! 
 Newsgroups: comp.text.tex, alt.sex.fetish.fashion, alt.shenanigans
 Date: 1998/08/15 




william_g_gruff@my-dejanews.com schrieb in Nachricht
<6r21fg$9aa$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>...
>Latex is just too inflexible. I just don't seem to be able to get into it.
>Does anyone have any tips about how to make it more flexible?
>
To get into it, use a special fluid without grease!!! or talcum-powder.

>Plus, I can never get it to look the way I want - I want my stuff to
>look really polished, but it always ends up looking dull - and don't
>blame the contents!
>
There are special fluids and sprays for polishing. But just use
cockpit-spray, that's cheaper.

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From: Frans Goddijn (fg@fgbbs.iaf.nl)
 Subject: Latex is too inflexible! 
 Newsgroups: comp.text.tex, alt.sex.fetish.fashion, alt.shenanigans
 Date: 1998/08/15 



said william_g_gruff@my-dejanews.com to All:

> Latex is just too inflexible. I just don't seem to be able to get
> into it. Does anyone have any tips about how to make it more
> flexible? 

It's too flexible, I'd say. LaTeX is a package around TeX with thousands
of smaller stylefile-extensions to it by as many authors. The result is
that LaTeX can do about anything you want it to do --- no, let me
rephrase, anything that a LaTeX guru has wanted it to do in the past and
for which that LaTeX guru has written and published a stylefile or other
hack.

> Plus, I can never get it to look the way I want - I want my stuff
> to look really polished, but it always ends up looking dull - and
> don't blame the contents!

If you know what you want your texts to look like, there's a stylefile out
there which can pull that off. Chances are that this stylefile has not
been updated for compliance with a newer version of LaTeX, or the
stylefile may clash with another stylefile that you use for another
reason.

> I'm new here, so any help is welcome.

If you're starting out today, than it might be wise to check out ConTeXt.
It's, if I may say so, LaTeX's big brother, born later, but much better
educated. It's a monolithic package that can do all you could do with all
the latest and less recent stylefiles and the latest LaTeX, PLUS a batch
of stuff more. It has a user interface in three languages: english, german
and dutch and the very pretty manual can be downloaded from the Internet
for free, as free as the package itself is for most users:

http://www.ntg.nl/context

Met hartelijke groet!
 
 Frans Goddijn   | bbs: +31 (0)26 3217041
 Postbus 30196   | email: fg@fgbbs.iaf.nl
 6803 AD Arnhem  | tel: +31 (0)26 3219342
 The Netherlands | http://www.iaf.nl/Users/Meridian 
--
You are what you is

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From: Allin Cottrell (cottrell@ricardo.ecn.wfu.edu)
Message 3 in thread
Subject: Re: Latex is too inflexible!
Newsgroups: comp.text.tex, alt.sex.fetish.fashion, alt.shenanigans

 
View this article only
Date: 1998/08/14

william_g_gruff@my-dejanews.com wrote:
>
> Latex is just too inflexible. I just don't seem to be able to get into it.
> Does anyone have any tips about how to make it more flexible?

Vaseline?

> Plus, I can never get it to look the way I want - I want my stuff to
> look really polished, but it always ends up looking dull - and don't
> blame the contents!

If you want polish, try leather instead.

--
Allin Cottrell
Department of Economics
Wake Forest University, NC

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 From: Bernard Collins (bernard.collins@jhuapl.deletethis.edu)
 Subject: Re: Latex is too inflexible! 
 Newsgroups: comp.text.tex
 Date: 1998/08/18 



"Michael A. Covington"  writes:

> What are you wanting to do that LaTeX won't do?

Perhaps this thread should come to an end before someone gets a
TeXually transmitted disease. One or two contributors seem to have
gotten the joke. But most responses are fraught with amusing double
entendres, just as the orignal poster intended. Maybe everyone is
actually in on the joke, and I am the one being made a fool of for not
immediately perceiving all of the intentional irony.

Skip Collins

P.S. For those who have no idea what I am talking about, read the
original post carefully and note where it was crossposted.

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The complete thread can be found here: http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&safe=off&ic=1&th=f849427fc589d463,15&seekm=6r21fg%249aa%241%40nnrp1.dejanews.com#p , or failing that, by searching for the phrase "William G Gruff" on http://groups.google.com/advanced_group_search